Online Dating (My story)

I signed up and felt embarrassed. It was EHarmony, and I had just taken the time to fill out the world's longest self-evaluation form. For some reason, I felt inclined to sign up. Perhaps I was motivated by one of my college friends. He had met his now fiance on EHarmony. I was still single, and overall, the idea of online dating seemed less scary these days. The first time I "chatted" online was during my last year of high school. In many ways, I didn't grow up with the internet, but it was not foreign to me either.

I signed up.

That was two years ago.

I had real life happening with real people. It was very hard to focus on making time to meet strangers when I barely had time to meet old friends for a fun Happy Hour. "Men suck" was chanted several times among my girlfriends in moments of singlehood. If I made an effort, would it be worth my time?

My dates were considerably poor. Even if the man was "nice," I felt no major sparks and I had no idealized connection. I began to think I was too picky. Eventually, I used my networking profile on MySpace to see what else (or who else) was out there. There were no real winners, but at least, I interacted with some very interesting men. Every now and then, I would "meet" a guy who wasn't pretending to have the same interests. In the end, "dating online" meant I exposed myself to more personalities within the opposite sex, and that type of research is priceless.

I decided to join Match.com in an effort to satisfy my ego. Unlike EHarmony, I was able to browse independently, and reject all of the "e-dorks," as my best friend called them. There were far too many supposed "matches" on the this site. Yet, most of these men were far from being interesting, attractive, or remotely compatible. I won't go into detail either about the awkwardness of being matched with previous flames in my real life! Oh my!

This became frustrating quickly.

I decided in December 2006 to stop online dating altogether. It was going nowhere. The very next day I got an email from a man who just wanted to exchange communication. He wasn't a freak asking me out on a date without even knowing my name.

I kept my profile up for a few more days. In that time, we emailed and I discovered that he was funny. Several weeks later, we talked on the phone for the first time, and his voice sounded sincere.

Almost two months later, I agreed it was time to meet.

Our first date was wonderful. I couldn't believe we had just met. We talked and walked for hours! It was a simple date, just dinner and talking, and it was all the elaborate planning that needed to happen. He hugged and kissed me at the end of our date, and I still know exactly how his arms felt around me for the first time.

He called me the next day.

I saw that as a sign of not playing games and sticking to "guidelines" about when to reach out to a woman. A + on his report card so far!

Our second date was at his place and we watched a movie on his couch. The best part was that nothing happened. I went home.

On our third date, he came over my place, and I cooked him dinner. He yelled at my cat, and I found out he doesn't eat the skin on potatoes. He went home. I'm a nice girl.

From that point forward, we made the time to make "us" happen, and although I met him online, over a year later, I don't feel as if I met him online. I met him--period.

I got to KNOW him through conversation, interaction, and time.

Online dating does not speed things up for you.
There is no real reason that it should.

True, some people get very lucky finding someone within weeks (or days). And perhaps, if you are looking to just date and meet people and have fun--this is fine. However, I was looking for the right man in my life.

I am happy. I took my time and I was selective.

In the end, I met who I was supposed to meet at this time in my life. He just happened to email me after reading my profile on Match.