Socializing Over Age 25

Far be it of me to stop anyone from being happy. I must comment, however, on the eternal 20 year old who happens to be 40. At what point is it appropriate to calm down in one's life? Is it even necessary? It seems a natural part of life to assume serenity and balance with age. Yes? No? Isn't the counterpart reckless youth?

I may be reflecting the beliefs of a rather Puritanical society. I am, after all, rather American. I believe that all should stay young at heart, and yet, responsible. I find it lacking in class to exude the behaviors of a young person. I find it inappropriate to pretend to be younger than you really are. If you are older, you should act it, because there is nothing wrong with growing older.

When I was 21, my friends and I had stopped our college-aged habits of drunken stupor. We transitioned into dining out, and there was a distinct turn in our maturity when birthdays became dinners instead of nights full of booze. It can be said that by the time our last friend turned 25, we had all outgrown being silly...on a regular basis anyway. We also started needing some sleep.

There's nothing wrong with being silly. Go ahead: laugh, goof around, and come back home with not-sure-where-I-got-this-from bruises and stains. That's being young. You certainly can't do that when you're 40! Hmm, or can you? Many do, but I'm very critical of how authentic their desire is to be in these rather immature circumstances.

If you're married and a parent, the answer seems slightly obvious. It doesn't matter how old you are, but certain lifestyles no longer allow for some behaviors. There is no time to be that young again when real life responsibilities occur. You would be a rather poor parent to find yourself clubbing and dancing every Saturday night while someone babysits your toddler. In turn, you would not be the best role model for your teen child if you did drugs or regularly found yourself tumbling through your house drunk. It doesn't mean that people do not behave this way. I just believe it can't possibly be considered "okay" under any real reasoning.

What if you're perpetually a full time working single professional? Do you keep your rowdy badge of honor or do you retire it gracefully? I think the latter action has its merits, but we need to look at the facts first. There is no reason to settle down or be calm, and so it becomes a question of style, peers, and income.

After your 25th birthday party, you may find yourself buying gourmet cheese and name-brand sneakers. You may hear yourself talking about a night in the city, fully equipped with a French meal and a classic opera. Maybe you suggest a classy (trendy) lounge for a girls' night out, and maybe you roll your eyes at the loudness of the club your 24 year old friend chose for last weekend's outing. All of a sudden, you like conversation...with wine in your hand. You like to wave your glass around when you talk, and you hang out with people who also like to do nothing in particular when you gather together. You find it more appealing to hold a soiree in your one-bedroom apartment, and you have a newly acquired hankering for hummus during lunch break.

You're at a crossroads.

You're not old enough to be boring.

You're not young enough to be trashy.

You juggle a delicate balance of qualities and vices.

You just can't move like you once did!

I get tired by 10 p.m. I try to stay up until midnight, because in college, my nickname was "night owl." Actually, I started a program in the dorms called Night Owls! I clearly liked the nightlife, but I was never a party person. I simply enjoyed maximizing my time. About a year or so ago, I realized that my ability to work, run errands, do laundry, party, write, and play the piano all in one glorious day simply dwindled. The above list requires a week now. My coupon-cutting for grocery shopping alone takes up a couple of hours on my Sunday afternoon. Let's not disregard the fact that I now cut coupons, please. Sunday afternoons were made for brunch, right? Coupons and crepes. Can life get better?

You're just not making that much money yet. Everyone has a commentary on how you should save or invest your money when you're young. It's as if anyone who is now 40 or older thinks that they did something wrong by not saving more. Let's be honest, who can save these days beyond a 401K and a small account or two? There are the few and strong, but the majority of people under 30 are still aiming for that "next step" in their careers, and spending money on trivial things. You work, you want to feel that you are doing so with a purpose, and that gourmet cheese sounds (and tastes) like a great excuse to work. Bring on the shoe sale and clearance DVDs, too! I want my feet to look hot when I host my friends over for movie night this Friday.

Life doesn't stop with age. As Mellancamp noted, "Life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone," and I can't reiterate that enough. Your waist line may be larger and your bills may be higher, but life under 30 still has many more thrills to uncover, and that's what makes the next 30 years that much more exciting.

Although this article may sound a bit lacking in focus, I have to conclude that the purpose of aging is to actually do so. There is a value in growing up. You can't be holding onto a younger lifestyle, simply because you can, or because you have no reason to give it up. You are only missing out on the great moments of wisdom that can only be learned by making new mistakes.

See, the thing about being 25 is that you've mastered your teen routine. You know how to date and you know how to get a foot in the door. You know how to make and keep friends, and you've learned how to hang up on your mom. You've reached that wonderful moment in life that you used to dream of when you were 15 - you're a grown-up, but now what? Do you hold onto it for dear life with hope that nothing brings about any change? No. You now need to master being an adult, and that will take up, AT LEAST, another decade.