Lately, it has donned on me that I am barely home. I have a full time job, a serious boyfriend, and a steady freelancing career. If I'm home, I'm showering, eating, petting my cat, and working for a client. It made me wonder where I happen to have my personal space. It is certainly not home. By default, I cannot claim the comfort of my boyfriend's house is it either, and I would be admitting to some serious priority issues if I found it at work.
My assessment of personal space led me to look at people around me. Who is an ace at personal space? My friends and family all have different ways of prioritizing their daily routines to make time for the more desired moments of their lives. I often feel I do the same, but an outsider's perspective may accurately analyze that my personal space is fragmented. It belongs in bits throughout the rest of my ongoing responsibilities. As of today, I have decided to embark on some type of self-prioritzing philosophy. I need to make time for "me."
Making personal space:
1. I truly love the time spent with my cat, curled up in a ball next to me, when I am at home. She seems to take comfort in my presence, too, and there is a purity to her needing me. I will make a note of how much time I dedicate to this simple pleasure.
2. My friends and I have all grown up and do not have time to make plans every weeknight and weekend. A simple form of contact, like an email or real letter may grant me enough time to myself to think about the blessings in my life I find in people of my past and present.
3. Although my family can be impossible at times, I have to include them in my spare time. Special events are great, but a simple spur of the moment coffee or conversation is probably more meaningful.
4. I love to read, and yet, I find myself taking weeks and months to finish a book. No amount of sleepiness will deprive me from reading at the end of the day.
5. My dusty piano calls for me. I need to play more, even if it keeps the neighbors awake.
In essence, personal space is not about "your home." It is about the time you devote to yourself and the items of your personal life. Life is not work, and it is certainly not just one person. Life is a delicate balance of commitments, passions, and routines.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Monday, April 28, 2008
Weather People--The Best Job Ever
I'm simply mesmerized by weather forecasters. They have the best job! Although I am leaning in the direction of pure sarcasm, I must ask the question: How else can a person be paid a salary for being wrong most of the time? This is not a unique complaint, but I am fascinated.
These professionals are extremely entertaining. What with their fun, little moving graphics, meteorologists put together an army of morning commuters, "prepared" with umbrellas on a sunny day! What's not to like? Personally, I enjoy carrying around extra weight.
Let's add some logic to this topic.
Being a scientific meteorlogist is not easy. Behind television gigs, a real meteorologist truly studies the patterns of the atmosphere and makes predictions about possible changes, including threatening weather, like tornados and hurricanes. However, why are these tv versions always wrong? Perhaps, they lack something?
According to theweatherprediction.com, a site about meterologlists, a Bachelors of Science and 3 years of relevant work experience fulfills the requirements for the AMS, American Meteorological Society. This may explain a thing or two. Without sounding condescending, this is a science degree, right? Job postings online can find salaries in the six figures and somehow all you need is a Bachelors.
Let's investigate further.
As it turns out, meterologists have a "3 degree" threshold in which they may still be considered correct about their forecast. I found this factoid interesting, because 3 degrees can be the difference between freezing and just really cold. Who's being picky?
I wondered about their job market. Do they struggle to find a job in a market full of scientists? As it turns out, according to the bls.gov website, 37% of these scientists are employed by the government. The majority of weather broadcasting positions are "rare and highly competitive." I can see why. Who wouldn't want a position where the margin for error is so wide?
Where do they get their research data?
Most meteorologists, broadcasters and researchers alike, use satellites and commonly used stations to monitor Earth's wide variety of sensors, all aptly processed these days through computers. Fair enough--they all get the same wrong information from the same sources!
The argument then becomes about presentation.
How much do you like your weather "guy" or "gal?" Personally, I tend to watch the WPIX channel, and I catch Mr. G and Linda Church for my news. I did a bit of research on them. I was surprised, and impressed, to find out that Mr. G, also knows as Irv Gikofsky, has a Ph. D from Yeshiva University, and his career in forecasting began when he invented the first student-used weather forecasting programs for schools in New York City. He's very community-oriented, and so, I guess I'll decree it's "okee dokee" for him to be wrong every once in a while. Also on the cw11.com website, I found out that Linda Church pursued some graduate work in Environmental Sciences.
Clearly, not just anyone can tell the weather.
All the same, I would prefer some dependable level of accuracy from time to time. It doesn't seem too much to ask when you're paid to tell me what to wear on any given day.
These professionals are extremely entertaining. What with their fun, little moving graphics, meteorologists put together an army of morning commuters, "prepared" with umbrellas on a sunny day! What's not to like? Personally, I enjoy carrying around extra weight.
Let's add some logic to this topic.
Being a scientific meteorlogist is not easy. Behind television gigs, a real meteorologist truly studies the patterns of the atmosphere and makes predictions about possible changes, including threatening weather, like tornados and hurricanes. However, why are these tv versions always wrong? Perhaps, they lack something?
According to theweatherprediction.com, a site about meterologlists, a Bachelors of Science and 3 years of relevant work experience fulfills the requirements for the AMS, American Meteorological Society. This may explain a thing or two. Without sounding condescending, this is a science degree, right? Job postings online can find salaries in the six figures and somehow all you need is a Bachelors.
Let's investigate further.
As it turns out, meterologists have a "3 degree" threshold in which they may still be considered correct about their forecast. I found this factoid interesting, because 3 degrees can be the difference between freezing and just really cold. Who's being picky?
I wondered about their job market. Do they struggle to find a job in a market full of scientists? As it turns out, according to the bls.gov website, 37% of these scientists are employed by the government. The majority of weather broadcasting positions are "rare and highly competitive." I can see why. Who wouldn't want a position where the margin for error is so wide?
Where do they get their research data?
Most meteorologists, broadcasters and researchers alike, use satellites and commonly used stations to monitor Earth's wide variety of sensors, all aptly processed these days through computers. Fair enough--they all get the same wrong information from the same sources!
The argument then becomes about presentation.
How much do you like your weather "guy" or "gal?" Personally, I tend to watch the WPIX channel, and I catch Mr. G and Linda Church for my news. I did a bit of research on them. I was surprised, and impressed, to find out that Mr. G, also knows as Irv Gikofsky, has a Ph. D from Yeshiva University, and his career in forecasting began when he invented the first student-used weather forecasting programs for schools in New York City. He's very community-oriented, and so, I guess I'll decree it's "okee dokee" for him to be wrong every once in a while. Also on the cw11.com website, I found out that Linda Church pursued some graduate work in Environmental Sciences.
Clearly, not just anyone can tell the weather.
All the same, I would prefer some dependable level of accuracy from time to time. It doesn't seem too much to ask when you're paid to tell me what to wear on any given day.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Socializing Over Age 25
Far be it of me to stop anyone from being happy. I must comment, however, on the eternal 20 year old who happens to be 40. At what point is it appropriate to calm down in one's life? Is it even necessary? It seems a natural part of life to assume serenity and balance with age. Yes? No? Isn't the counterpart reckless youth?
I may be reflecting the beliefs of a rather Puritanical society. I am, after all, rather American. I believe that all should stay young at heart, and yet, responsible. I find it lacking in class to exude the behaviors of a young person. I find it inappropriate to pretend to be younger than you really are. If you are older, you should act it, because there is nothing wrong with growing older.
When I was 21, my friends and I had stopped our college-aged habits of drunken stupor. We transitioned into dining out, and there was a distinct turn in our maturity when birthdays became dinners instead of nights full of booze. It can be said that by the time our last friend turned 25, we had all outgrown being silly...on a regular basis anyway. We also started needing some sleep.
There's nothing wrong with being silly. Go ahead: laugh, goof around, and come back home with not-sure-where-I-got-this-from bruises and stains. That's being young. You certainly can't do that when you're 40! Hmm, or can you? Many do, but I'm very critical of how authentic their desire is to be in these rather immature circumstances.
If you're married and a parent, the answer seems slightly obvious. It doesn't matter how old you are, but certain lifestyles no longer allow for some behaviors. There is no time to be that young again when real life responsibilities occur. You would be a rather poor parent to find yourself clubbing and dancing every Saturday night while someone babysits your toddler. In turn, you would not be the best role model for your teen child if you did drugs or regularly found yourself tumbling through your house drunk. It doesn't mean that people do not behave this way. I just believe it can't possibly be considered "okay" under any real reasoning.
What if you're perpetually a full time working single professional? Do you keep your rowdy badge of honor or do you retire it gracefully? I think the latter action has its merits, but we need to look at the facts first. There is no reason to settle down or be calm, and so it becomes a question of style, peers, and income.
After your 25th birthday party, you may find yourself buying gourmet cheese and name-brand sneakers. You may hear yourself talking about a night in the city, fully equipped with a French meal and a classic opera. Maybe you suggest a classy (trendy) lounge for a girls' night out, and maybe you roll your eyes at the loudness of the club your 24 year old friend chose for last weekend's outing. All of a sudden, you like conversation...with wine in your hand. You like to wave your glass around when you talk, and you hang out with people who also like to do nothing in particular when you gather together. You find it more appealing to hold a soiree in your one-bedroom apartment, and you have a newly acquired hankering for hummus during lunch break.
You're at a crossroads.
You're not old enough to be boring.
You're not young enough to be trashy.
You juggle a delicate balance of qualities and vices.
You just can't move like you once did!
I get tired by 10 p.m. I try to stay up until midnight, because in college, my nickname was "night owl." Actually, I started a program in the dorms called Night Owls! I clearly liked the nightlife, but I was never a party person. I simply enjoyed maximizing my time. About a year or so ago, I realized that my ability to work, run errands, do laundry, party, write, and play the piano all in one glorious day simply dwindled. The above list requires a week now. My coupon-cutting for grocery shopping alone takes up a couple of hours on my Sunday afternoon. Let's not disregard the fact that I now cut coupons, please. Sunday afternoons were made for brunch, right? Coupons and crepes. Can life get better?
You're just not making that much money yet. Everyone has a commentary on how you should save or invest your money when you're young. It's as if anyone who is now 40 or older thinks that they did something wrong by not saving more. Let's be honest, who can save these days beyond a 401K and a small account or two? There are the few and strong, but the majority of people under 30 are still aiming for that "next step" in their careers, and spending money on trivial things. You work, you want to feel that you are doing so with a purpose, and that gourmet cheese sounds (and tastes) like a great excuse to work. Bring on the shoe sale and clearance DVDs, too! I want my feet to look hot when I host my friends over for movie night this Friday.
Life doesn't stop with age. As Mellancamp noted, "Life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone," and I can't reiterate that enough. Your waist line may be larger and your bills may be higher, but life under 30 still has many more thrills to uncover, and that's what makes the next 30 years that much more exciting.
Although this article may sound a bit lacking in focus, I have to conclude that the purpose of aging is to actually do so. There is a value in growing up. You can't be holding onto a younger lifestyle, simply because you can, or because you have no reason to give it up. You are only missing out on the great moments of wisdom that can only be learned by making new mistakes.
See, the thing about being 25 is that you've mastered your teen routine. You know how to date and you know how to get a foot in the door. You know how to make and keep friends, and you've learned how to hang up on your mom. You've reached that wonderful moment in life that you used to dream of when you were 15 - you're a grown-up, but now what? Do you hold onto it for dear life with hope that nothing brings about any change? No. You now need to master being an adult, and that will take up, AT LEAST, another decade.
I may be reflecting the beliefs of a rather Puritanical society. I am, after all, rather American. I believe that all should stay young at heart, and yet, responsible. I find it lacking in class to exude the behaviors of a young person. I find it inappropriate to pretend to be younger than you really are. If you are older, you should act it, because there is nothing wrong with growing older.
When I was 21, my friends and I had stopped our college-aged habits of drunken stupor. We transitioned into dining out, and there was a distinct turn in our maturity when birthdays became dinners instead of nights full of booze. It can be said that by the time our last friend turned 25, we had all outgrown being silly...on a regular basis anyway. We also started needing some sleep.
There's nothing wrong with being silly. Go ahead: laugh, goof around, and come back home with not-sure-where-I-got-this-from bruises and stains. That's being young. You certainly can't do that when you're 40! Hmm, or can you? Many do, but I'm very critical of how authentic their desire is to be in these rather immature circumstances.
If you're married and a parent, the answer seems slightly obvious. It doesn't matter how old you are, but certain lifestyles no longer allow for some behaviors. There is no time to be that young again when real life responsibilities occur. You would be a rather poor parent to find yourself clubbing and dancing every Saturday night while someone babysits your toddler. In turn, you would not be the best role model for your teen child if you did drugs or regularly found yourself tumbling through your house drunk. It doesn't mean that people do not behave this way. I just believe it can't possibly be considered "okay" under any real reasoning.
What if you're perpetually a full time working single professional? Do you keep your rowdy badge of honor or do you retire it gracefully? I think the latter action has its merits, but we need to look at the facts first. There is no reason to settle down or be calm, and so it becomes a question of style, peers, and income.
After your 25th birthday party, you may find yourself buying gourmet cheese and name-brand sneakers. You may hear yourself talking about a night in the city, fully equipped with a French meal and a classic opera. Maybe you suggest a classy (trendy) lounge for a girls' night out, and maybe you roll your eyes at the loudness of the club your 24 year old friend chose for last weekend's outing. All of a sudden, you like conversation...with wine in your hand. You like to wave your glass around when you talk, and you hang out with people who also like to do nothing in particular when you gather together. You find it more appealing to hold a soiree in your one-bedroom apartment, and you have a newly acquired hankering for hummus during lunch break.
You're at a crossroads.
You're not old enough to be boring.
You're not young enough to be trashy.
You juggle a delicate balance of qualities and vices.
You just can't move like you once did!
I get tired by 10 p.m. I try to stay up until midnight, because in college, my nickname was "night owl." Actually, I started a program in the dorms called Night Owls! I clearly liked the nightlife, but I was never a party person. I simply enjoyed maximizing my time. About a year or so ago, I realized that my ability to work, run errands, do laundry, party, write, and play the piano all in one glorious day simply dwindled. The above list requires a week now. My coupon-cutting for grocery shopping alone takes up a couple of hours on my Sunday afternoon. Let's not disregard the fact that I now cut coupons, please. Sunday afternoons were made for brunch, right? Coupons and crepes. Can life get better?
You're just not making that much money yet. Everyone has a commentary on how you should save or invest your money when you're young. It's as if anyone who is now 40 or older thinks that they did something wrong by not saving more. Let's be honest, who can save these days beyond a 401K and a small account or two? There are the few and strong, but the majority of people under 30 are still aiming for that "next step" in their careers, and spending money on trivial things. You work, you want to feel that you are doing so with a purpose, and that gourmet cheese sounds (and tastes) like a great excuse to work. Bring on the shoe sale and clearance DVDs, too! I want my feet to look hot when I host my friends over for movie night this Friday.
Life doesn't stop with age. As Mellancamp noted, "Life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone," and I can't reiterate that enough. Your waist line may be larger and your bills may be higher, but life under 30 still has many more thrills to uncover, and that's what makes the next 30 years that much more exciting.
Although this article may sound a bit lacking in focus, I have to conclude that the purpose of aging is to actually do so. There is a value in growing up. You can't be holding onto a younger lifestyle, simply because you can, or because you have no reason to give it up. You are only missing out on the great moments of wisdom that can only be learned by making new mistakes.
See, the thing about being 25 is that you've mastered your teen routine. You know how to date and you know how to get a foot in the door. You know how to make and keep friends, and you've learned how to hang up on your mom. You've reached that wonderful moment in life that you used to dream of when you were 15 - you're a grown-up, but now what? Do you hold onto it for dear life with hope that nothing brings about any change? No. You now need to master being an adult, and that will take up, AT LEAST, another decade.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Online Dating (My story)
I signed up and felt embarrassed. It was EHarmony, and I had just taken the time to fill out the world's longest self-evaluation form. For some reason, I felt inclined to sign up. Perhaps I was motivated by one of my college friends. He had met his now fiance on EHarmony. I was still single, and overall, the idea of online dating seemed less scary these days. The first time I "chatted" online was during my last year of high school. In many ways, I didn't grow up with the internet, but it was not foreign to me either.
I signed up.
That was two years ago.
I had real life happening with real people. It was very hard to focus on making time to meet strangers when I barely had time to meet old friends for a fun Happy Hour. "Men suck" was chanted several times among my girlfriends in moments of singlehood. If I made an effort, would it be worth my time?
My dates were considerably poor. Even if the man was "nice," I felt no major sparks and I had no idealized connection. I began to think I was too picky. Eventually, I used my networking profile on MySpace to see what else (or who else) was out there. There were no real winners, but at least, I interacted with some very interesting men. Every now and then, I would "meet" a guy who wasn't pretending to have the same interests. In the end, "dating online" meant I exposed myself to more personalities within the opposite sex, and that type of research is priceless.
I decided to join Match.com in an effort to satisfy my ego. Unlike EHarmony, I was able to browse independently, and reject all of the "e-dorks," as my best friend called them. There were far too many supposed "matches" on the this site. Yet, most of these men were far from being interesting, attractive, or remotely compatible. I won't go into detail either about the awkwardness of being matched with previous flames in my real life! Oh my!
This became frustrating quickly.
I decided in December 2006 to stop online dating altogether. It was going nowhere. The very next day I got an email from a man who just wanted to exchange communication. He wasn't a freak asking me out on a date without even knowing my name.
I kept my profile up for a few more days. In that time, we emailed and I discovered that he was funny. Several weeks later, we talked on the phone for the first time, and his voice sounded sincere.
Almost two months later, I agreed it was time to meet.
Our first date was wonderful. I couldn't believe we had just met. We talked and walked for hours! It was a simple date, just dinner and talking, and it was all the elaborate planning that needed to happen. He hugged and kissed me at the end of our date, and I still know exactly how his arms felt around me for the first time.
He called me the next day.
I saw that as a sign of not playing games and sticking to "guidelines" about when to reach out to a woman. A + on his report card so far!
Our second date was at his place and we watched a movie on his couch. The best part was that nothing happened. I went home.
On our third date, he came over my place, and I cooked him dinner. He yelled at my cat, and I found out he doesn't eat the skin on potatoes. He went home. I'm a nice girl.
From that point forward, we made the time to make "us" happen, and although I met him online, over a year later, I don't feel as if I met him online. I met him--period.
I got to KNOW him through conversation, interaction, and time.
Online dating does not speed things up for you.
There is no real reason that it should.
True, some people get very lucky finding someone within weeks (or days). And perhaps, if you are looking to just date and meet people and have fun--this is fine. However, I was looking for the right man in my life.
I am happy. I took my time and I was selective.
In the end, I met who I was supposed to meet at this time in my life. He just happened to email me after reading my profile on Match.
I signed up.
That was two years ago.
I had real life happening with real people. It was very hard to focus on making time to meet strangers when I barely had time to meet old friends for a fun Happy Hour. "Men suck" was chanted several times among my girlfriends in moments of singlehood. If I made an effort, would it be worth my time?
My dates were considerably poor. Even if the man was "nice," I felt no major sparks and I had no idealized connection. I began to think I was too picky. Eventually, I used my networking profile on MySpace to see what else (or who else) was out there. There were no real winners, but at least, I interacted with some very interesting men. Every now and then, I would "meet" a guy who wasn't pretending to have the same interests. In the end, "dating online" meant I exposed myself to more personalities within the opposite sex, and that type of research is priceless.
I decided to join Match.com in an effort to satisfy my ego. Unlike EHarmony, I was able to browse independently, and reject all of the "e-dorks," as my best friend called them. There were far too many supposed "matches" on the this site. Yet, most of these men were far from being interesting, attractive, or remotely compatible. I won't go into detail either about the awkwardness of being matched with previous flames in my real life! Oh my!
This became frustrating quickly.
I decided in December 2006 to stop online dating altogether. It was going nowhere. The very next day I got an email from a man who just wanted to exchange communication. He wasn't a freak asking me out on a date without even knowing my name.
I kept my profile up for a few more days. In that time, we emailed and I discovered that he was funny. Several weeks later, we talked on the phone for the first time, and his voice sounded sincere.
Almost two months later, I agreed it was time to meet.
Our first date was wonderful. I couldn't believe we had just met. We talked and walked for hours! It was a simple date, just dinner and talking, and it was all the elaborate planning that needed to happen. He hugged and kissed me at the end of our date, and I still know exactly how his arms felt around me for the first time.
He called me the next day.
I saw that as a sign of not playing games and sticking to "guidelines" about when to reach out to a woman. A + on his report card so far!
Our second date was at his place and we watched a movie on his couch. The best part was that nothing happened. I went home.
On our third date, he came over my place, and I cooked him dinner. He yelled at my cat, and I found out he doesn't eat the skin on potatoes. He went home. I'm a nice girl.
From that point forward, we made the time to make "us" happen, and although I met him online, over a year later, I don't feel as if I met him online. I met him--period.
I got to KNOW him through conversation, interaction, and time.
Online dating does not speed things up for you.
There is no real reason that it should.
True, some people get very lucky finding someone within weeks (or days). And perhaps, if you are looking to just date and meet people and have fun--this is fine. However, I was looking for the right man in my life.
I am happy. I took my time and I was selective.
In the end, I met who I was supposed to meet at this time in my life. He just happened to email me after reading my profile on Match.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Investing in Your Education (Yourself)
Investing in Your Education (Yourself)
by Prin Dumas
I work in college admissions now. Prior to that, I worked in private high school admissions. Both cost money--either for the student or for his or her parents. We live in America, and most necessities are costly.
Education is crucial. Can you be successful without a college degree? Of course. You can also win the lottery, invest in a gold mine, or save a forever indebted Bill Gates' life. The point is the average person needs a solid education.
What is solid?
I have had this discussion with my own parents and with many prospective students and their families for years. Many people still have the mindsight that any education is an education. I disagree. Obstacles that most people refer to when hesitant about going or returning to school are: money, time, and personal emergencies, mostly in that order. All three are poor excuses in most, if not all, cases. Why? I say the following to almost everyone who walks through my door. The cost of your education should be proportionate to your goal salary for about two to four years of your life.
The average college graduate can expect to be assisting someone somewhere for a good five years as they work up the ladder of experience in their intended industry. A salary can safely be guaranteed in the mid $20, 000 to low $40, 000 (sometimes more, rarely less) depending on your major. That being said, and considering the average top 50 college costs an average of over $30, 000 a year, one can conclude that attending the best college that accepts you may well be worth it down the line of your life, student loans and all.
Stop looking for a free ride and stop expecting to go to school for free. Stop feeling entitled to a free education when most people have had to pay for it.
Getting real, no one pays off their student loans in two to four years, unless they get really lucky or have parents who pay off the loans. Most college graduates dedicate a monthly portion of their post-graduate income to their student loan repayment, and it can take well over ten years! If you defer your loans due to lack of funds, you may be in your 40s and still paying off your Bachelors degree, but no one is forcing you to pay your loan that slowly.
The reality of student loans is that they make the currently impossible possible for those who want it. Once you graduate and once you start working, it is your responsibility to budget yourself in a manner that allows you to pay your student loans back quickly or more quickly than someone else who pays the minimum. Student loans are not a bad debt and paying them back, whether deferred or on time, will build, not decrease, your credit. Taking out a student loan is a self-motivated move to invest in yourself--you should be your own best investment in life, better than any stock that may or may not rise above expectations. You control your own rising and your own falling.
Let's compare attending a community college or state college to a private college. Price alone may make many choose the large class sizes, impersonal staff, routine admissions and registration processes, and canned student life. Without exaggeration, the "full ride" can turn out to be the greatest mistake of your life. You get what you pay for, they always say, right? When you pay nothing, even if there is a monetary value, you risk nothing. You may benefit from the pressure of your own (or your parents') money being wasted if you do not do well or graduate on time. Ask your local community college what their average graduation rate is for an Associates degree and you just may faint!
If you intentionally plan to attend a cheaper college in an effort to transfer into a better one later on, do not complain to a loss of credits in the process. Money may be lost, but this is what happens when you don't finish at one institution. Every Middle States Association accredited college reserves their right to accept (or not) however many credits from another college, good or bad. If you didn't do your homework ahead of time, don't get mad at the new college! Don't think that it's the first college's fault either. At the end of the day, attending a cheaper college "first to save money," may cost you more in the long run to finish your long term goal degree--if it is a Bachelors.
Speaking of long term degrees, can we, please, stop thinking that colleges should grant credit for non-college-credit certificates. Just because you paid about the same for a diploma does not mean that anyone should justify your decision. Getting a certificate is a choice made in lieu of getting a degree, either in the interest of time or special circumstance. Someone without a degree needs a degree, no matter what any technical school tells you. Try to get a promotion at a company without a college degree, and you'll see why. You may get a job, but how long will your income potential last you?
Get a Bachelors--at least!
In addition, make your decisions by yourself. Parents are quick to want to get involved, because it is "their" money. However, your degree of choice becomes "your" life, and more importantly, how you will earn YOUR money. If you have a passion for music, perhaps, a music education degree seems a "practical" compromise. Pushing yourself into an accounting program instead almost guarantees you'll be the world's crankiest tax preparer! Do what you love and worry about your income when the appropriate phase of your life to do so occurs. You may not become famous, but you can certainly do many stable things with even the most surreal of passions, side interests, and "hobbies," as parents like to call them.
Trust your instincts about a college.
Invest in your education.
Face your life with a well-equipped you.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Using the Word "Like" in Conversation
Sometimes I catch myself speaking aloud and hear one too many "like" adverbs in my conversations. I hear it all of the time. It's, like, annoying!
Mainly, I remember growing up in the 1980s and reading plenty a Valley Girl book and hearing references of pretty, big-haired girls using the word with shameless irrelevance to what they were trying to say. The word has no real meaning.
Why is it annoying? Why is it wrong?
Well, it is not proper English. I wouldn't say it is wrong though.
The word interrupts a statement.
For example:
"I was, like, so mad at her."
"The lake is, like, 2 miles long."
"This is so, like, amazing."
"You can't believe how grateful I am that you are, like, a life-saver."
In other words, the word has a purpose as an adverb. So, it is not wrong.
The problem is that overuse of the word in public speaking creates an unpolished and somewhat unsophisticated tone. In writing, it is generally an unacceptable use of syntax and word order. It serves no purpose, because there is no need for, like, an interruption within writing. :)
This is easy enough to understand. When speaking aloud, young and old, may feel the need to pause within thoughts before speaking. Enter the need for the word "like" at times when the ideal words escape the mind.
What you want to avoid is sounding stupid. Blunt, but true.
Overusing an adverb that by definition of its use implies you do not know what to say or what you really mean is not a habit worth making. If you need to interrupt all of your vocal thoughts with the word "like," you may have developed a bad routine, easy to break.
First, slow down your speaking pace.
Second, focus on phrasing your speaking. In other words, add a natural pause to some of your talking. This way you eliminate the need to "fill in" with the word "like." It also helps you sound less mechanical.
Third, create lists of people in your life who you should not speak to using the word "like," and begin cognitively noticing if you do or do not. Slowly, you will see your usage of the word decrease naturally.
It is after all a, like, really bad habit.
Mainly, I remember growing up in the 1980s and reading plenty a Valley Girl book and hearing references of pretty, big-haired girls using the word with shameless irrelevance to what they were trying to say. The word has no real meaning.
Why is it annoying? Why is it wrong?
Well, it is not proper English. I wouldn't say it is wrong though.
The word interrupts a statement.
For example:
"I was, like, so mad at her."
"The lake is, like, 2 miles long."
"This is so, like, amazing."
"You can't believe how grateful I am that you are, like, a life-saver."
In other words, the word has a purpose as an adverb. So, it is not wrong.
The problem is that overuse of the word in public speaking creates an unpolished and somewhat unsophisticated tone. In writing, it is generally an unacceptable use of syntax and word order. It serves no purpose, because there is no need for, like, an interruption within writing. :)
This is easy enough to understand. When speaking aloud, young and old, may feel the need to pause within thoughts before speaking. Enter the need for the word "like" at times when the ideal words escape the mind.
What you want to avoid is sounding stupid. Blunt, but true.
Overusing an adverb that by definition of its use implies you do not know what to say or what you really mean is not a habit worth making. If you need to interrupt all of your vocal thoughts with the word "like," you may have developed a bad routine, easy to break.
First, slow down your speaking pace.
Second, focus on phrasing your speaking. In other words, add a natural pause to some of your talking. This way you eliminate the need to "fill in" with the word "like." It also helps you sound less mechanical.
Third, create lists of people in your life who you should not speak to using the word "like," and begin cognitively noticing if you do or do not. Slowly, you will see your usage of the word decrease naturally.
It is after all a, like, really bad habit.
Being a Safe Driver
Does anyone make a conscious effort to drive safely anymore?
I drive to and from work every day. I'm a commuter in New Jersey, and I wonder if drivers on the Garden State Parkway, New Jersey Turnpike, Routes 80, 23, 17, 1 and 9 ever stop to wonder about their reckless and/or aggressive driving habits.
It would be safer to realize that you wouldn't be in a rush if you had, for example, woken up early. It is certainly not justification to cut someone off for not moving fast enough by your standards.
The Golden Rule, which strives for a person to treat others in the same manner with which he/she would want to be treated, disappears when people get in their cars.
First Offense:
Is it really okay to not let someone merge into a lane? I think people get competitive on the road. They seem to believe that if they allow another person's vehicle to go in front of their own, they have experienced some pseudo-Darwinian moment, and they rebel for fear of becoming extinct! Foot on the gas pedal, and next thing you know, the poor merging hopeful misses their exit. The gene pool has been saved again!
Second Offense:
Do we receive a form of pleasure from when we tail-gate another driver? There are slow drivers, and we all know that it is not legal to pass on the right side. A slow driver can grate nerves, but what is "slow?" If someone is driving at the speed limit, it is not appropriate or safe to rev up to them, merely a few inches away from their rear bumper, in an effort to intimidate them into driving faster. The law is to drive at the speed limit and under it, not over it. Just because there is no police car in sight does not mean that driving over the speed limit becomes the acceptable norm.
Third Offense:
Telepathic communication would be a great thing indeed, especially for those who refuse to use signal lights. However, most people do not "sense" where you are going to go. The smallest deviation in your driving should come with ample announcement. It makes everyone aware and safe.
There are other horrible driving habits, but it is important to maintain a clear head and focus. If you are sleepy and physically tired, it is best to rest up before getting behind the wheel.
If you have too many things to talk about on the phone, don't start driving. Make your cellphone a source of social pleasure not a transit danger!
Driving safely involves consideration for the humanity around you.
Why?
There are mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, grandfathers, teachers, counselors, doctors, and many loved ones on the roads each day. Accidents do not always kill a person, but they often injure someone special. Being a safe driver means being mindful of the consequences of your actions. It is also about respecting yourself enough to not ruin your own life with an avoidable tragic accident.
I drive to and from work every day. I'm a commuter in New Jersey, and I wonder if drivers on the Garden State Parkway, New Jersey Turnpike, Routes 80, 23, 17, 1 and 9 ever stop to wonder about their reckless and/or aggressive driving habits.
It would be safer to realize that you wouldn't be in a rush if you had, for example, woken up early. It is certainly not justification to cut someone off for not moving fast enough by your standards.
The Golden Rule, which strives for a person to treat others in the same manner with which he/she would want to be treated, disappears when people get in their cars.
First Offense:
Is it really okay to not let someone merge into a lane? I think people get competitive on the road. They seem to believe that if they allow another person's vehicle to go in front of their own, they have experienced some pseudo-Darwinian moment, and they rebel for fear of becoming extinct! Foot on the gas pedal, and next thing you know, the poor merging hopeful misses their exit. The gene pool has been saved again!
Second Offense:
Do we receive a form of pleasure from when we tail-gate another driver? There are slow drivers, and we all know that it is not legal to pass on the right side. A slow driver can grate nerves, but what is "slow?" If someone is driving at the speed limit, it is not appropriate or safe to rev up to them, merely a few inches away from their rear bumper, in an effort to intimidate them into driving faster. The law is to drive at the speed limit and under it, not over it. Just because there is no police car in sight does not mean that driving over the speed limit becomes the acceptable norm.
Third Offense:
Telepathic communication would be a great thing indeed, especially for those who refuse to use signal lights. However, most people do not "sense" where you are going to go. The smallest deviation in your driving should come with ample announcement. It makes everyone aware and safe.
There are other horrible driving habits, but it is important to maintain a clear head and focus. If you are sleepy and physically tired, it is best to rest up before getting behind the wheel.
If you have too many things to talk about on the phone, don't start driving. Make your cellphone a source of social pleasure not a transit danger!
Driving safely involves consideration for the humanity around you.
Why?
There are mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, grandfathers, teachers, counselors, doctors, and many loved ones on the roads each day. Accidents do not always kill a person, but they often injure someone special. Being a safe driver means being mindful of the consequences of your actions. It is also about respecting yourself enough to not ruin your own life with an avoidable tragic accident.
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